Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
