Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
