Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
