Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize