Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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