Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
