God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
