We should be called the Road Head Warriors
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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