She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
