i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
this beer tastes like vomit already
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
God, I missed his penis.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
