omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
