yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
