lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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