i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
