And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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