am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
