I want to make a zoo with you.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
