He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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