I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
