I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
