remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize