Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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