Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
