White coat. Heels.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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