I want to have your abortion
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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