Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
