Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He uses pillows to masturbate.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
