Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
