I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize