so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
