I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
