You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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