i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
