Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
