I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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