I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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