Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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