if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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