There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
