so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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