I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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