Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
