So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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