My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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