I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
