The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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