So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
