Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
