i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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