But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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