i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
