Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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