I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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