I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
