i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
