this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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