puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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