its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You took a bar mat shot.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
