Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i need some magic done to my vagina
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
