I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
