if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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