she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
