also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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