is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
