well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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