Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
