Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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