That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
