Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize