I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
