And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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