I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
