i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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