im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We just shotgunned beers for America
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
